The cupid came and ripped the arrow out of my heart

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 04:10:39 GMT

Song of the Day:

something came from nothing today
while i was saying no

so don't you knock on my door
cause i can't answer you anymore

absence makes the heart grow far
stayin' away from the people

was a question before
but i can't answer you anymore

stepped to the sea ?
i did everything right
for somebody that does everything wrong

so i go from coast to coast
over the hawthorne bridge

to the one i adore
you asked me what i'm looking for
but i can't answer you anymore
no i can't answer you anymore ~ elliott smith - i cant answer you anymore

So i went and got my tattoo yesterday. which is absolutly fucking fantastic. i couldnt believe how beautiful it was when he showed me what he drew up cause i just came in there with a photo of a longstemed rose and the letters XO on either side of the stem. and he drew up this amazing thing. it has leaves and a few baby thorns and a put a rose budding at the bottom right below the O. i thought it was beautiful. hahaha. and he kept hitting on me when i firt got there. i was like 'hold on...what... i really hot guy is hitting on me' at first he was like ' so you married, dating, single?' and i told him that im single. and he was like ' now why would a girl of your calaber be single?' hahaha. in my head i was like ' calaber? the calaber of average?' and i told him all of the stupid shit about shane and he was like ' yea i can see why you dont like him'then we started talking about work and i said that i worked at staples and he was like ' oh, well if you worked at the staples in edmonton i would come and visit you' once again i was like 'what?, whats going on' but i just laughed and was like' ah, unfortunatly i work at the staples in leduc' then he said someting about me being very passive girls and how he really likes passive girls and stuff. i was tottaly like what the hell is going on. then we were talking about the corpse bride and he was like 'yea i really want to see it but i have no one to go and see it with...' hahaha. i was just so confused cause he is a fucking hot guy who i normally look at be like ' wow. that would be cool to get to know him' but nothing more cause yea. just because. im me. but he said he just broke up with his girlfriend and was like' so i just dont want to date anyone right now but i still want to see people' while eyeing me. the was like' so what are you doing, dating, taking a break?..' i just told him im going with the flow of whatever happenes cause i have no clue what i really want. it was funny cause later me him and bobbi were talking and he was like' i only want to fuck girls right now, not date them. as horrible as that sounds' it just made me laugh. to bad im not the kind of girl who would sleep with him. hahaha. but yea the tattoo was fine. he did a very gentle job and complimented me of my 'such soft skin' lol. he's so smooth. it wasnt bad at all until he started doind the part right near my elbow. that hurt. cause its all bone. then after he told me about the care of it and sounded like a total robot. lol. i wasnt listening cause i got distraced by it and when he was done talking i was like ' wow, you really sounded like a computer while saying all of that' he just laughed and said' i have to say that so many times a day' then i was paying for it and stuff and he was like ' so you should come in, in a couple of weeks so i can see the tattoo' i said i would. bobbi and sara are getting their tattoo's by him so i have to take them in for their consultation some times. so i have to go back.

then when we got back we went to saras house and drank and watched brad and bobbi play this really cool video game where its all these rappers and they're fighting and stuff. it was actually really cool. which reminds me that i rented harry potter the prizoner of azkaban and left it in the car. damn. anywho. bobbi got so damn drunk. it was really funny cause he was doing this dance.i cant even explain it but me and sara were laughing so damn hard. then after everyone left me sara and bobbi were all going to sleep. we were all sleeping in bobbis bed cause its so big and amazing. and we layed there talking for a while theni feel asleep for like 10 minutes then work up cause the music got really loud all of a sudden. we were listening to sigur ros. then it got turned down and i felt bobbis hand pet my head and he was like 'i love maegan' and so i said 'i love you to bobbi' and he was like ' doyou promise' hahaha. i was like 'yes bobbi i promise' . i love sara and bobbi alot. i think they are just such great people and i dont feel like a third wheel when im with them so its just great. we were talking about moving out togeter.i would like it alot i think. but then sara said that they still might be moving to england and i should go with them for a year or something. i think it would be a really cool experience. so its something to think about. but i would miss everything here alot. who knows. its all up in the air right now!

Maegan

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 01:58:21 GMT

whatever this is of the day: stupid stupid fuck fuck fuck. stupid. fuck.

god damn. i was in such a good mood since last night. then i come on the computer and read a message from shane and now i feel like absolute shit.he is such a fucking idiot. i was expecting him to call me of at least reply to my message on nexus. but he never did. then i went on nexus and saw that he removed the 'i heart this girl' caption from my profile. and that was like a total slap in the face. i was so hurt and then my hurt turned into anger andi sent him another message basically saying ' so you can take to time to remove that caption but you cant take the time to call me or at least reply to my messages?' and then we writes back ' i said i was sorry and explained myself what more do you want me to do. i thought that you didnt want anything to do with me after i talked to you at chilis' . i mean. i mean. its not like i can just feel 100% better after he aplogizes. it doesnt work like that. but if thats the hardest he's going to try to make me feel better and to try and fix this. then i honestly dont think that he's very sincere in what he said. he was saying that he 'respects me' and 'didnt want to break up with me' and some other shit. i dunno. if i did the same thing to i shane 'accidently' dating someone cause i wasnt think and heard that he was tottaly crushed about it. i would feel horrible and try phoning him to talk about it and try and fix it cause he still ment alot to me. but here's the thing. i didnt start dating someone else cause i still cared alot about him. weird.this is just so stupid. i dont even know what to do. i dont want to think about him cause when i do i think about him with his girldfriend and how they are probably sharing 'tender little moments' like me and him did. fuck. it hurts alot.

in other news. work is going fine. i was finally getting over shane thinking he was going to call me and we were going to work it out and was in a really good mood. then tara called me to the front and was like 'um, there someone on the phone who asked for maegan from the sales floor' i was like. 'hmm. maybe its kaley or someone calling for me' so i went to pick it up and some guy obviously diguising his voice was like 'hellooooo. do you happent o seel markers' hahah i was like 'uh...yes. we happen to have alot of markers' and i kinda paused. then i heard laughing in a normal voice and knew who it was he was like 'hey, its greg' hahaha. it just made me smile. he's so funny. i guess him and amber were talking about missing everyone from work so he called to say hi. while i was talking to him i saw victoria writing something on a post it note. then she put it in front of me and it said 'see i told you he had a crush on you' it was really funny. but the last thing i want is another boy. cause you know. i have a conscience. (fuck fuck fuck) ANYWAYS it was just really funny and cute. i guess him and amber are going to get tattoos tomorrow. i asked what he was going to get but he said it was a surprise. i wouldnt be surprised it was like...zelda. or something to do with video games... i willbe my self 20 dollers that it will have something to do with nintendo.

i got a letter in the mail from the school. cause our little grad thingys coming up. where we go back and pick up out diplomas and have a little ceromony. and guess what it said. i, maegan glynn, am recieving an award. hahaha. im pretty sure i read that they give out an award for whoever has the highest mark in english 30-2. and i did. so i think thats what its for.and im excited to see all my old classmates. ambers flying down and justin had better be there. it shall be very awesome and hopefully take my mind off of stupid shit.

Maegan

Tue, 27 Sep 2005 02:38:48 GMT

Song of the day:

Doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo
Ohhh doo doo hmm
Ohhh doo doo doo doo

I prayed heaven today
Would bring its hammer down on me
And pound you out of my head
I can't think with you in it

I'd drag all that I owned
Down the dirt road to find you
And my shoes, worn-out and used
They can't take me much farther
Ohhh

Something always takes the place of missing pieces
You can take and put together even though
You know there's something missing

The sun burned a hole in my roof
I can't seem to fix it
And I hope rain doesn't come
Wash me down the gutter

Something always takes the place of missing pieces
You can take and put together even though
You know there's something missing

She rides in a car
Like a queen on a card
And the guns of her mind
Aim a line straight at mine
To a heart that is broke
Tried to feel but got choked
In the smoke of a desert
A beach with no treasure
A night that seems blue
Feed the aching in you
And the background birds
Take a flight from the earth
A bonfire burns
And the night current turns
On a lifeboat floating
Down a river of sleep
Can't see her hollow eyes
Walking along with my boots full of rocks
Can't believe these tears of mine
I give 'em to you to keep away in a box

Something always takes the place of missing pieces
You can take and put together even though
You know there's something missing

Something always missing
Always someone missing something
Something always missing
Always someone missing something
Something always missing
Always someone missing something
Something always missing
Always someone missing something
~ missing - beck

This is one of the best songs i have ever heard. from the moment i first heard becks voice come in i was in love. i just think its such an amazing sounding song. and the lyrics are pretty easy for me to relate to right now. so i guess that helps as well.

I went to edmonton on saturday with sara and bobbi. i had to stop at eye of the lotus to make a tattoo appointment. i met patrick who was really nice. i liked him. and i didnt feel all awkward around him like i usually do with people. whick is good cause im going to be sitting in a room with him for over an hour. We got so lost trying to find the place there. and i've been there 3 times before! im such an idiot. but kaley wrote me out directions and she wrote 116th AVE and its actually street. so the ave threw us wayyyyyyy off. lol. so we eventualy stopped at a gas station and go the directions. We were all starving afterwards and bobbi wanted to go to chilis. i didnt really want to cause shane works there but we were all like 'he workds in the back. and usually works late' and stuff. so i caved and went. and i had the most delicious milk shake. so that was cool. but then, guess who shows up. the one and only shane. it felt like someone slapped me in the face when i saw him. he said he needed to talk to me so we went out side. and it was probably the dumbest conversation in the world. but im sure couples have conversations like this all the time. that makes me sad. It was just him saying 'im an idiot; i wasnt thinking etc etc' and me nodding me head ' i already know all of this' he said he has alot of family problems and shit. which of course i feel bad about but i just dont get how you can start dating a girl because you 'werent thinking' and god. how is that supposed to make his girlfriend feel. if she heard he said that. i know that would make me feel like shit. but i already feel like shit being in the 'old' girlfriend position. I mean. i really wanted to become good friends with him so that we could comfortably date other people. but he didnt even give us a chance to get into that. i was still stuck in the 'i still care about him alot 'mode. and it sucks. the thought of him holding another girls hand, kissing her. etc. just breaks my heart. i mean how would he fucking like it knowing i was dating some random guy and kissing and cuddling with him. i would expect that to make him feel like shit as well cause he says he 'still cares alot about me' . and he sure is good at showing it. jesus. im going to take a vow of silence, cut off all interaction with everyone and being a hermit in my parents basement.

Maegan

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 05:19:11 GMT

Song of the day:

everything is gone but the echo of the burst of a shell
and i'm stuck waiting for a passing feeling
in the city i built up and blew to hell
i'm stuck here waiting for a passing feeling
still i send all the time
my request for relief
down the dead power lines
though i'm beyond belief
in the help i require
just to exist at all
took a long time to stand
just an hour to fall.
i'm stuck here waiting for a passing feeling
stuck here waiting for the passing feeling
still i send all the time
my request for relief
down the dead power lines
though i'm beyond belief
in the help i require
just to exist at all
took a long time to stand
just an hour to fall.

~A passing feeling ~ elliott smith

I hate being upset at all. its stupid. and im such an idiot cause when im depressed i tend to reminecse in the past. god. and it always just makes me feel like shit. i was reading some of shanes old blogs about me and him and looked at some of mine. it just sucks. i hate knowing that he's doing couple stuff with some other girl. it makes me feel horrible. god. but my friends are just so damn amazing. all of them. are all just so amazing to me. they all comforted me and didnt look at me like an idiot when i started crying at the show. cause i sure felt like an idiot. and bobbi and trever even offered to beat him up. hahaha. of course i said no. then miranda called me talking about telling him to sleep with one eye open and something involving i think ass raping and a donkey. haha. oh that miranda. they are all just so caring. i love it. it does help me feel alot better. welli guess its just ups and downs. it helps me feel better but sometimes i still just feel horrible. i hate this. and he hasnt talked to me at all since i found out. i messaged him on nexus. it wasnt the nicest message i know but i still expected him to at least try to talk about it. and he hasnt called either. which just pisses me off even more. at least make a fucking effort to fix this. it doesn help with kaley saying ' i really dont think he's going to make any contact with you at all. ' but she said that cause she said he's a 'pussy' and wont want to deal with me yelling at him and stuff. which im sure i will do. i will either yell or just cry or both. ahhhh. why does everything have to be so stupidly complicated.

in good new's im finally going to go and get an appointment for my tattoo. im going to make it for the 1st of october. i have to go in tomrrow to eye of the lotus. i think im going around 12:30 or one. leaving them. im told to ask for 'patoo' his names pat but he does tattoos so its 'pattoo' hahaha. genius. that actually made laugh alot.

i talked to faytima to. i always feel better when i talk to her. sometimes i get so angry with her and just dont want to talk to her but when i do i cant help but forget about all of it. it kinda sucks cause nothing gets dealed with. but whatever. i love her and dont want to stop being her friend. she supposed to be coming to calmar....next next weekend. i beileve. lol. then were going to go and see corpse bride. cool cool. kaley wants to go see it on tuesday but i think i work till 9:30 so i doubt i can go. but i might work till 4:15. but shifts alternate like that all week. who knows.

Maegan

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 06:23:02 GMT

oh god im shaking so bad right now. i' havnt been this up set in so fucking long. oh god. well i tottaly give up on my thoughts of a friendship with shane cause now all i want to do is fucking punch him in the face. He started dating a girl the DAY AFTER we fucking broke up . when i found that out i called kaley and just started bawling. i couldnt stop crying. when we broke up i thought it was apparent we still had feelings for each other we just didnt want to get fucking attached before he fucking left. that what he fucking said. didnt want to gett attached befor he left. then he fucking starts dating anothe fucking girl the day after we fucking break up. were they just waiting for us to break up of what??oh god. and i went to the used tonight. and i was just in such a upset mood. i kept trying not to cry but i started to during the first band. i hate fucking crying over boys being tottal fucking idiots. god damn it.

the show was good. but oddly i dont feel like talking about it. but it was amazing. and thankfully all it took was alexisonfire and the used to take my mind off the fucking asshole. oh god. i cant believe how pissed off i am. and hurt. god damn. it hurt so bad when i found that out. and saw how he was 'smitten' for her. the same fucking words he used on me. FUCK. im so fucking pissed

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 21:29:40 GMT

lyrics of the day:

I
said what you wanted to hear
and what I
wanted to say
so, I
will take it back
are all of the dishes in tact?
let them be
broken
broken
it's easy to be
easy and free
when it doesn't mean anything
you remain
selfless, cold
and composed

god. i havnt written in forever. im an asshole. anyways. a little 'catch up' i guess. me and shane broke up. :(. it was really sad but thought it was for the best. im just no good with boyfriends and with him moving to scotland and stuff. the whole situation was just confusing for me. Before we broke up though i was on nexus and i saw he had these lyrics or something on his page that made me cry. i dont remeber what they were but they just made me feel horrible and really sad. it sucks. i just know that i will never date a guy who's as good to me as shane was. he was jsut amazing. he said that he wanted to stay friends. i hope that he stays true to that cause if he doesnt it will fully break my heart. but we were talking and he said its probably good to break up so we dont get really attached to each other and then he just leaves to scotland. blah. it sucks. i thought the break up was really good though. but i get sad sometimes. but theres nothing i can do. so whatever. relationships are usually just trouble anyways. why would i think this one would be any different.

hmm. i got two new dogs a while ago. they're pugs and so damn cute. they're names are kelso and katie they're three years old. we got them for free two. thats what makes the whole thing crazy. but its nice haveing a dog back in the house. i missed leiko alot.

and works going by great. lol. theres this guy named greg working with me. he's so funny. i have alot of fun when he's working. we just have a lot in common and have teh same sense of humor so we get along really well. viki thinks he has a crush on me but i just shruged it off. i think i only see him as a friend and i dunno. me and shane just broke up. i dont want togo rushing off into a relationship. not my style i suppose. but greg is hilarious. him and ambe went to fort mac for 18 days though :( it made me sad. greg amber brad and viki are my favorites. now i've lost two for a while. they had to go out there cause the staples was running low on employees and needed some extra help. im already excited for them to come back because they make work go by quicker.

Maegan

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 06:29:44 GMT

Lyrics of the Day:

naked except for a perpetual debt
that couldn't be stripped away
an unrightable wrong that moved him
along closer to division day
~ division day - elliott smith <3<3

monday was nikki's 18th birthday. we went to whyte ave to the bars. poor nikki. kaley bought her the infamous prarie fire. needles to say she ended up puking one the floor. it was funny/ but of course i felt bad for her. she shook it off and everything. kaley had to leave early though cause she had to work the next morning. then sean showed up. i havnt seen him in a while so it was cool. oh man he made my night when he was dancing to usher. it was high-larious. let me tell you. he was like 'oh man im going to just go nuts if usher comes on' oh man. then it came on. the ones that like 'doot doot..doot doot.' he just gets up stalks out to the floor. pauses. then when a doot came on he just let at it. it was awesome. me and shane were laughing so hard. ah then me and my big mouth made shane really worried and sad. i said something about how if we break up we have to stay friends. and then kept talking about how i had no intention of meetin someone im going to be with forever so young and stuff. then he got all worried and sad and sat there distant for a long time. seeing him like that crushed me i felt like such an asshole. ah it was a mess. but we fixed it i guess. then sean gave us a talk about how we are each other 'shits' when gwen stafonie came on ' holla back' 'this shit is bananas' lol. it was funny. then we went to a hotel and passed out. well that was our intention cause i was sick and shane was tired. but then brianna and sean were playfully arguing. which i ddint mind cause i dont want then fighting anymore. but at one poing sean threw a sock at brianna and instead it hit shanes cold tea and it feel all over me and the glass hit my head. i didnt really care it just hurt. i knew it was an accident. but shane was man. its nice he cares so much though. but yes. im summerizing cause im getting tired. good night

Maegan

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 04:12:24 GMT

Lyrics of the day:

Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth
No you don't know what happened
And you never will if
You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall ~ Snow patrol - how to be dead

I picked up snow patrols c.d....i cant remeber what its called. i have to urge to call it 'hot fuss' but i sure as hell know its not that. ah. its a good c.d. and i also picked up weens c.d...i also dont remeber the name of that one.weird fucking c.d. hahaha. i like it though. they are very eclectic to say the most i guess. but its cool. i love 'push the little daisies' i just love that song. hahaha. shane was also the biggest sweetheart in the world and burnt me a c.d with elliott smith stuff on it that i havnt heard because my computer is lame and i cant uaually down load stuff. he's just to good to be true. and faytima bought me elliott smiths c.d roman candle. yesterday was just a elliott fantastic day.

I went to st.albert yesterday. it was fun for the most part. we just hung out and hung out some more. it was shane, kaley,tima, sasha, jen,pat,cam, doyle and boy i cannot remebers name. but of course the night eventually turned sour. faytima invites us out their to hang out and then she goes and fucks off with doyle twice for long periods of time. i mean. comeon. she see's him everyday and when her 'best friends' who she 'misses so much' finally come up to visit and runs off. its stupid. and it pissed me and kaley off so much. and to make matters worse. doyle can get pretty dumb when he drinks. and he nailed my face with his shoulder doing some drunk person move. falling over or some shit, lol. but faytima just pisses me of so fucking much. i wish she didnt. when i was hanging out with her before she ran off with doyle i was happy. i missed her. but then i got to see how much of an idoit a boy makes her and i again got pissesd off. and even doyle was like 'i told you they would get mad if we took off' and faytima was like 'we had to talk' well whatever they had to talk about im sure they could have done right after we left which was right after they got back from talking. but i mean even doyle realizes that me and kaley get mad and tries to tell her and she still doesnt seem to fucking get it. i honestly dont understand her mind. it confuses me alot. bah. whatever.

i went to the fringe today. it was cool. my cousin derek met us there with her friend/sisters boyfriends cousin. lol. i havnt seen derek in such a long time but he's cool. me and my sister were supposed to meet shane at the princess theater at 2 - 2:30ish. of course we were late and didnt get there till about 3. thank god he didnt mind.i warned him we would probably be late. he's awesome. i get to hang out with him tomorrow as well because its nikki's 18th. its going to be fun and im so glad that nikki is finally 18. now all we need is sara to be 18 and i will be set.

hahaha. i forgot. after we left faytima and them me kaley and shane went to tim hortens for some food. and im sick. something with my thoat. and for some reason it gets bad at night. and my voice was all squicky ( how do you spell that?hmmmmm) but it was funny. kaley and shane kept laughing at me whenever i tried to talk because all that would come out was a squick. hahaha. then just to be an asshole. me and kaley were listening to micheal jackson. i think a jackson 5 song actually. the bird one.i cant remeber what its called. but kaley turned in for gas and when she turned the car off the music of course turned off and i kept singing. we laughed pretty hard just because. well im sure almost every has heard someones voice when its all sick like. haha and i cant even sing in the first place. so it was pretty bad.

Maegan

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 03:04:26 GMT

Lyrics of the Day:

Tonight the sky is painted...
Tonight the sky is painted melancholy
and the wind sings songs as if it would lament
some tradgedy on the far side of the world. ~ gatsbys american dream - theater

I love that damn song, hahaha. the damn was needed.i think gatsbys american dream is such a awesome band. and some how, i have no idea how, i forgot to see them at warped tour?? i totttaly forgot and i didnt even think about it till like..2 weeks after it. kaley was like 'hey werent they at warped tour?' while we were listening to theater and i was just like "OH...MY....GOD. " hahaha. man. i have such a bad memory its not even funny sometimes. its pretty horrible.

blah blah blah. it seems like i always find something wrong with mine and faytimas friendship. its never as good as it used to be and it really hurts. i remeber when we used to hang out constantly and never ran out of things to talk about and were always laughing. but then we kinda ran out of things to talk about. i shrugged it off cause surly if you hang out with a person enough theres not going to be chatter all the time. but then she moved away and i never talk to her any more. and when we do she tottaly doesnt make conversation. ill be like' so what have you been up' expecting stories and stuff cause she in st.alber hanging out with everyone and she just like 'well you know. just hanging out...." and shes says it in thsi fucking passive voice and thats it. it pisses me off. im like "well... ummm. ok..' trying to think of something to say but then i realize im at lost for words as well. its stupid. and i finally thought we were making progress we were talking more and i finally got to hang out with her and stuff. it was fun. but then i realized i havnt heard from her in a long time. then i realized Doyles back from P.E.I or someplace. god she pisses me off alot when it comes to him. it hurts because a boy comes along and im suddenly 2nd best and there is this huge gap between 2nd and first. now i dont even feel like im in the top five. i dont even know any more. because the thing that can make me sad the most is that she doesnt even seem to notice. and i've been through this with her before. it pisses me off. also cause when she did live in calmar we never hung out. and now she's living in st.albert and i hear about her always out and doing stuff with her other people. its hurts me. when we did have time to spend together she sat at home. and now she's gone and i never see her and now she goes out all the time. i know she cares about me but i cant help but feel like this. she just can seem so ignorant to other peoples feelings. Im not blaming all of this on her of course. I know i could call her more as well. but i horrible at phoning people and she knows that. i always forget to phone everyone. i dont do it on purpose or anything like that. its just this stupid little thing about me. im pretty sure everything will work itself out but im getting so sick and tired or the ups and downs of our friendship. and whenever i try and talk about it with her all she says is 'im sorry' its because of her im starting to hate those two words. they seem tottaly empty. i dont like sorrys with out explanations and sincerity. ah. but i know she doesnt mean to do any of these things so i just feel bad for thinking like this. i just dont understand how she can be so naive at times. and i hate it that we cant talk anymore. i remeber on canada day she was saying something about how she only got to talk to doyle for 15 mintues or something and she started cry because he had to go. and she was like' i didnt want to tell you because you would have thought iw as a stupid girl' and of course i find it silly. until she tells me it was because she was having a really bad day and she just wanted to talk to him. thats tottaly understandable. i would not have thought she was a stupid girl at all. so two thoughts arised. 1. does she even know me all to think such a thing. i love my friends and im not that big of a bitch to call her a 'stupid girl' for wanting to talkt o her boyfriend because she was having a bad day. and 2. why didnt she call me and talk about it? she just tottaly stopped expressing her feelings to me. thats why i hate the 'im sorrys' because she doesnt express her self at all. its just an 'im sorry' ah. its stupid. im trying to let it and just unsterstand some things are inevitable. i know things will seem fine when i get to hang out with her again. whenever the hell that will be. fuck. whatever

on a happier note. i had to go a buy a spacer for my lip. (staples doesnt allow pericings cause they are lame) and i was like 'lets go to whtye ave' and kaley said that nikki and shane were supposed to be there!! i got really happy and she phone nikki when we got there and they were there! so i was quite happy. i tottaly didnt expect to see him until tuesday so it was just a really nice surpirse. i got to give him and hug and kiss and hold hands with him. he just makes me smile. whyte ave was good. my spacer was 25 dollers. for a little piece of plastic. oh well. hahaha it was so funny to. We were at this show store and sara was showing me these nice shows but they were really expensive an i was like 'oh you can get a pair exactly like those at payless for way less' hence the name, lol. then i saw a guy looking at me with a smile. and i was like ' oh...do you work here?...' and it turns out he did. hahaha i was like 'ummm. you didnt just here me telling my friend to but shoes somewhere else' it was funny we were all laughing. i really do like that store. but some of the shoes are really expensive so why not but a differnt brand that look the exact same for cheaper. i tottaly dont understnad the brand association. it hink its so dumb. i have a pair or low tops that look like converse. but instead of spending 50 dollers on then i spent 15. it was awesome. and they look the way i like. they just arent converse. lables are lame. i dont understand how things become cool and why people 'have' to have them. anywho.i get to see shane on tuesday and thats jsut plain awesome. shanes my favorite brand, hahaha. sorry. had to say that. lame i know. but thats what im all about

Maegan

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 03:12:28 GMT

Lyrics of the Day:

ahhhhh. i have the biggest headache in the world. i've taken 3 advils since 5 and its still hasnt gotten any better. i just have to try and not move very much, hahaha, cause when i do it hurts so much. but guess why i have a headache. from working. oh yes, i finally got a job. im working as the temporary set up crew for staples. i just started today. i was doing inventory and i was reading numbers all day and now my head wants to blow up. yey. but i was a pretty good day until my head started to hurt. there were only 3 other people there today cause its a holiday and they didnt need very many people. buti guess tomorrow theres going to be about 15. im going to feel really shy and awkward. but i did today as well but after i started working i kinda relaxed. and oddly. i kept smelling play-doe. i kept that observation to myself, lol. but that was all i was smelling. sometimes i got an uber awesome wiff of wood, but it was usually playdoe. im abivilant to the smell of playdough. well enough about playdoe i havnt wrote ina while. lets catch up, shall we?

on friday i went to seans party. me and kaley were supposed to stay the night but she ended up having to work the next morning :( sad day. so we were only there for a few hours. but i was really happy i got to see shane. i just really like being with him. it makes me smile :D. unfortunatly him and rebeca got into a little bit of a yelling match. but i understand why they did. well i dont really get why rebeca was so upset. but i guess things just kinda escalated from there. what can you do?? im sure everything will blow over in time. it always does. But after the argument me and shane went for a walk. we found an....electicity box. is that what kids call them these days? lol. it was like as big as me, lol. so shane had to boost me up. it was funny. hahaa. and i was talking to faytima yesterday and she was like : could you and shane see me? i snuck up to the fence to spy on you guys and when i looked over it looked like you were both starting at me" hahaha. i didnt notice her. but we were talking about the party and looking at the house. then we decided to walk some more and we were walking throught the field and found and nice little play ground. we sat there for a while. lol. he kept making me laugh. it was just funny cause we would be kissing and one of us would start gigglilng. it was cute. im excited to see him again. he said he was going to come to calmar on thursday but thanks to my new job he cant :( but oh well there will be other days. in soooo excited for him to come to calmar. lol. i have a day of boared game fun planned. muwhahaha.

i went to klondike days on thursday to see matt good. it was good i really like him. then i went again on saturday with nikki brianna and faytima. it was fun. i wish i could hang out with all of them more.i hate when i dont write in here for a long time, then i have stories and i just dont want to type them anymore, lol. thats the case right now. i saw finger eleven that night. they played 3 new songs. im going to their site right now to see about a new album. ...muwhahaha again.

Maegan

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 07:18:22 GMT

Lyrics of the day:

xo, mom
it's ok, it's alright, nothing's wrong
tell mr. man with impossible plans to just leave me alone
in the place where i make no mistakes
in the place where i have what it takes
i'm never gonna know you now, but i'm gonna love you anyhow
~ Elliott smith - waltz #2

thats such a good song. when the guitar comes in and stuff. i just find it so beautiful. I lent shane the Xo c.d and he said he cried. He said its very heartfelt music. i thought it was very nice he understood that. i tried getting kaley into him and she didnt really go for it, lol. I also lent shane either/or and his self titled on vynal. We did a music swap, i lent him elliott smith and he lent me rockabilly stuff. revernd horten heat, the cramps, madness and......stray cats. I've only listend to the reverend and i must say he's pretty rocken. i love love love. a song on there. i cant remeber what its called but i think its the 'bee's knee's' hahaha.

I went to saras house last night to play jenga. it was uber fun, lol. and we watched.......one hour photo while playing. we played 3 times and i broke it each time. then we started playing building block and started making little stuff out of the blocks, lol. I made a space ship that crashed and the town hall. and i could stop talking about shane. it was so funny, sara was like 'oh listen to you, you so love him you want to have ten million of his babies' quoting american beauty of course. i thought it was so funny and american beauty is one of my favorite movies so double points there. Then of course i went back over th saras house tonight and we played jenga some more and watched requiem for a dream. i didtn get to see it all but it looked like such a wicked movie. i was really liking it. i think i might just rent it soon. i was going to stay over there late to drink becuse bobbi starts his job on thursday but i was tired and wanted to come home to talk to shane on msn, hahaha. so were going to do it tomorrow night. Bobbi wants to come over to play my drums tomorrow, lol. i hope he's good because when bad people play my drums i sit their cringing, lol. and believe me there is a difference from bad and begginer. begginers i have patience for, lol. but people who are just bad....blech. and were going to watch ..... a clock work orange. awesomeness cause i havnt seen it in ages.

Im sooooo very very excited for sean bedards party. i get to see shane!!! and faytima and of course sean, lol. and everyone else thats going to be there, lol. but im so excited to see shane and faytima. its going to be a pretty happy day for me. then were thinking about going to see charlie and the chocolate factory on sunday. happiness....is a warm gun * singing* i love that song, lol.

Maegan

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 07:08:48 GMT

song of the Day: Bitches aint shit ~ ben folds

That song is probably one of the funniest songs i have every heard. He covered it from some artist. Its just so funny cause the lyrics are tottal banal misogynisic sounding rap song. and ben folds music is neither banal of misogynisitic. i love listening to it, in fact in listening to it as i write this, lol.

So i left for warped tour on wendsday. me kaley and brianna. i was so excited to see shane. and crazyness, we ran into then in red deer when we stopped to eat. he was so cute, before i even got out of the car he gave me a big bug <3 but they were just about to leave so we talked to them for a while then they left. When we got to calgary we so went to the zoo, lol. it was fun, but soooo hot. most of the animals were sleeping. i have ambivilant feelings towards zoo's. I dont think its right to put animals in cages. but the zoo also strive to give the the most realistic home they can. and they get animals that are endagard to try and save them and im sure most of the people working there love animals. so i dunno. but it was still fun. i saw two giraffes. i think their so pretty . their eyes are so big and they have really big eye lashes.

then we went to the mall and were haning out with shane, joey and brandon. Me and shane left the group for a while and found this really nice place to lay down. it was so nice. there where these seats that were so cushiony and right above them was this light thing, it reminded me of stars. and we just layed there talking. it was really nice and he so cute. He quickly kissed me on the cheak while we were talking. it was so sweet. aw he's so cute.

Warped tour was pretty awesome. I saw some really cool bands, yesterdays rising, atreyu, a7x, the unseen,alexisonfire, the bled. at first me shane and kaley found a little little place to sit and relax. shane kept kissing me but i was really shy and would look away and he would end up kissing my hair, lol. i felt like such an ass. But we talked about it later because i didnt want him to think i didnt like him or something. It was so amazing seeing a7x. i wish the singer could still scream though but they still put on a wicked show. and i ran into dillion, mattie, james,chase and carson while i was there. i havnt seen anyof them in a while so it was pretty cool. hahaha. and for some reason i have dillion a big hug, i normally would but he was in the mud pit so i got mud all over me. but i couldnt help but laugh and since i was muddy i gave james a hug right after. but dillion beat me to it first because he was already muddy, lol. good day. After the show we went to pizza hut. soooooo gooooooooddddd. lol. i havnt had stuffed crust pizza in ages so it was just pure heaven when i took a bite. Then on friday we drove back and took a much needed shower and stayed at brianna house. so i got to see shane again! i really like being with him. he makes me smile. im to tired to keep typing, lol.

Maegan

Sat, 09 Jul 2005 07:40:16 GMT

Lyrics of the day:

Oh gosh. me and shane are talking on nexus. cause my msn isnt working. and he just said he liked me alot. He said he wanted to tell me in person, but told me anyways. im soooo. i dont even know the words to describe it. because i like him so much to. aw. its been a while since iv really liked a boy this much. usually i get little crushes but they dont really go anywhere. gosh. i have such big butterflies right now. i dont even know what to say. were both just talking to each other how we like each other. its really cool. im really excited to see him on wendsday? i hope i see him on wendsday. definitly thursday cause its warped tour. its going to be so much fun. awwwww. im so.... shy and nervous right now. .... and im worried about his ex, rebeca. i met her and really liked her. and she was talking to me. but she kinda stoped after she noticed me and shane talking and stuff, lol. i really hope she still likes me because i dont want to start any lame drama. i thought she was really nice and cute. hmmmm. there is always something to complicate stuff isnt there.

In other news. lets talk about my night, lol. Me kaley and amber were sitting up town bored out of our minds. and we decided to go to saras house because i needed to pick up my elliott smith dvd and rush dvd my drum teacher lent me. Her family from california are up. I was really happy to met them because sara used to tell me about them alot. they were really nice. i really liked her sister in law ester. and her neice and nephew. they were really nice. lol. her nephew first this he says to me is "wow your really short" hahaha. he's 13 and the same height as me. i think a little bit taller. im 18! which means he still has alot of growing to do and im done, lol. I felt so bad at one point of the night. Sara went through some shit about her dad and her brother. i dont really feel its my place to say because its pretty personal. but seeing her cry and hearing stuff ive never heard before i felt so bad for her. i wanted to hug her and comfort her but she was talking to her sister in law and ester was trying to comfort her. i started to cry. i had no idea about the stuff she was saying. it broke my heart. When i left i gave her a big hug and told her i hope everything works out. She said she wanted me to come to the mall and go bowling and stuff. which sounds cool. i really missed her when we stopped being friends. so im glad we've patched things up. i hope we have a stronger friendship then before. i really love her and think she is a amazing person. and even stronger person from what i heard tonight. i just hope everything works out and her and her brother have a big long talk and just.... reconnect.

Maegan

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 03:19:20 GMT

2nd Lyrics of the day: when desperate static beats the silence up, a quiet truth to calm you down, the songs you wrote, got me though alot, just wanted to tell you that, but its to late ~ late - ben folds

i feel so fucking emo right now. im so depressed. this is just a really bad week for . really. really. really. bad. i lost the job i thought i had, leaving me jobless, my dog dies, a boy i like is moving to scotland, and now im not going out at all this weekend to see anyone, mainly the boy thats moving to scotland. this all tottaly sucks. i was supposed to go to morinville tomorrow night to hang out with everyone and to see shane. but now kaley said she cant go. i totaly understand her reason im not at all mad at her. im just extremly sad. She needs to save money to go to warped tour. i told her i would pay for gas but she said she would end up spending lots of money anyways cause were going to the bars. so i told her to just bring ten dollers with her and leave all her other money at home. but she said she couldnt do that. and its fine. but my week has jst been so bad so i was looking forward to leaving calmar and actually going out and having fun and nothing thinking about everything crappy which i have been doing non stop because i have absolutly nothing to do. and i just read a comment shane left me on nexus

"well. i just don't know what to say. yes, you should come get me from my work though. that would be fun! and i can give you a tour of the place.. haha lame! but yeah. i'm stoked for tomorrow night. but alas i must be off. you rock maegan! "

another stab in the heart. i cant wait until this week is over

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 22:44:43 GMT

lyric of the Day: The cupid came and ripped the arrow out of my heart

haha. god. yesterday was a pretty bad day. having to put my dog down. but then i was talking to shane on msn and it made me happy. but then i found out he's moving to scotland in november. hahaha. god. its sucked. i mean, im really happy for him and by the sounds of it he'll love it and stuff. but it just made me really sad because i like him alot. and like, if someone was like 'yea wouldnt that be funny if you guys got together and he was like 'oh yea im moving to scotland' i would have laughed because it seems so random. and then he said he was moving to scotland and i was like 'oh... thats cool' . but we were talking about planning a big road trip with everyone and going to l.a . they have this big elliott smith figure eight wall there and i really want to go adn read it and sign it and stuff. and i would like to hang out with shane before he leaves. like a bIG hang out, lol. like taking a road trip to california. im seeing him tomorrow though, he gets off work at 11 and i think were picking him up. it was so funny. he left me a comment on nexus and was like 'i am putting my foot down and saying we're goinjg to hang out this weekend. is that ok with you? ' i just thought it was so funny and cute cause he's all 'im putting my foot down' and then he says ' is thatok with you?' its funny.

ho hum. faytima moved on sunday and was like 'im going to call you everyday, you'll be my new doyle' its thursaday. i havnt talked to her since she said that,lol. she tried to call me once but i wasnt home. then she told me mom she was calling me at 8 last night. and she didnt. god. i need to talk to her to but i dont know her new number. shes a loser. lol. im sure she'll call before tomorrow because im kinda supposed to go to st.albert on saturday and stay at her house.

Maegan

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 20:29:34 GMT

Lyrics of the Day:We never met, you and I
We were always inside, we were somewhere inside
one another. And I'll live without you love,
but what good is one glove, without the other? ~ mewithoutyou - gentleman

crappy day so far. i was awoke by hearing my neighbor playing with her kids. then i heard her ask how my mom was and my mom was like 'not good, i have to put down leiko today' and i was just laying there like 'what the fuck' then she came and woke me up and said we have to go to the vet and put leiko down at 11:15. i wasnt that sad because i know its for the best, he's really old and has cancer and was pooping in the house more. so i just kept telling myself that it was for the best. but when we got in the car i was silly and brought elliott smith. lol, me and my mom were doing fine but his music can be pretty sad. my mom just started bawling and was like 'and he isnt helping' meaning elliott, but she was laughing to. it was kinda funny. but when we got to the vet and watching the leiko fall asleep slowly and saying by. i just lost it. me and my mom were both crying so hard it sucks. and it was just such a crappy way to start the day off. right when i wake up i find out that were going to put our dog down in like an hour and a half. now im on total puppy rebound. i just like having a dog around by my parents dont want another one. my mom said she doesnt want to go through that again. and i guess i understand. i saw the cutest black pug at the pet store the other day with kaley. i love black pugs but they are uber expensive. so i think im going to saveup and buy one when i move out. who knows

Maegan

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 20:55:05 GMT

blah. im bored... and lame...

Sat, 02 Jul 2005 14:48:45 GMT

Song of the Day:

I know it's hard to believe
But there are people you meet
They're into something that is too big to be
Expressed through their clothes
And they'll put up with all the poses you throw

And you won't even know
That they're not sizing you up
They know your mom fucked you up
Or maybe let you watch too much TV
But they'll still look in your eyes
To find the human inside

You know there's always something to see
Beneath the veneer
Not everybody made the list this year
Have a beer

Make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall

But there's always someone cooler than you
Yeah, you're the shit but you won't be it for long
Oh, there's always someone cooler than you
Yeah, there's always someone cooler than you

Now that I've got the disease
In a way I'm relieved
Cuz I don't have to stress about it like you do.
I might just get up and dance
Or buy some acid wash pants
When you don't care then
You've got nothing to loose

And I won't hesitate
Because every moment life it slipping away
It's okay

Make me feel tiny if it make you feel tall
But there's always someone cooler than you
Yeah, you're the shit but you won't be it for long
But there's always someone cooler than you
Oh, there's always someone cooler than you
Yeah,there's always someone cooler than you
There's always someone cooler than

Life is wounderful
Oh, life is beautiful
We're all children of one big universe
So you don't have to be a chump

And you know that I won't hesitate
Cuz every moment life is slipping away
It's okay

Make me feel tiny if it make you feel tall
Because there's always someone cooler than you
Yeah, you're the shit but you won't be it for long
But there's always someone cooler than you
Oh yeah, there's always someone cooler than you
Because there's always someone cooler than you

Cooler than you
Cooler than you
Cooler than you
Cooler than you

Nerds go wild

~ Theres always someone cooler then you ~ ben folds

I havnt heard that song. but i just read the lyrics and already love it. the lyrics are so right. thats always been what i thought, i dont waste time trying to impress people. if they dont like me for me then i dont think they are worth my time. im obssessed with be folds. i love his music. and shane loves ben folds. we were driving him to meet up with nikki and i was like " and theres ben folds in the car" and he was like "awesome" and we highfived each other,lol. oh if the cool kids could have seen us, we would be eating our underwear. i really like shane and i was really happy when he said he could come and meet us on whyte ave. him and nikki came. and it was so much fun. it was me,kaley,sara, tima,amber, and shane and nikki. we met up with them in front of the princess theater. then me and sara started walking to the liqure store right by us. and shane comes running up and says renate just got there. lol. we all just walked quicker into the liqure store. sara couldnt go in though. shes a minor and she got id.it sucked cause i was going to try and pick something out with her. so i just grabbed strawberry dacaries, or however you spell them. and i got drunk before we even left because i didnt want to waste money in the bars. then when i bought the strawberry stuff i realized i had no idea where to drink them, lol. she during the fireworks me and sara put them in our sleeves and drank out of it, lol. we pretty mishevious. what can i say. then we just hung out and walked around. omg and it was so funnny. faytima and sara left wtih amber and her parents because they had to get up early. but faytima had kaleys car keys in her bag! there were already so far away and they had to turn around to drop the keys off. it was funny. welli thought it was funny. awwwww. and i guess shane has a crush on me. i went to the bathroom and he was like ' ah, i have knots in my stomach' and right away kaley was like 'WHAT?... YOU LIKE MAEGAN" lol. in her kaley fashion. and i guess he was like 'yea' and kaley said 'then ask her out' and he started talking about how we live so far apart. we do, it sucks. he lives over an hour away. i hate being so far away from everyone. but i also really like living her. its a quaint little town. but shane might come to calmar on sunday for kaleys pool par-tay wooot woot, lol. i hope so. him nikki and brianna. it shall be marvoulous .it will be lots of fun. i slept at sara last nigh. we didnt get to be till around 2 - 2:30. maybe 3.. i didnt have a clock but me and bobbi were keeping then up talking and i kept telling faytima if she fell asleep she was going to wake up with used panties in her mouth, lol. bu sara had to work this morning. so i got up at 7. no sleep. and im going to a show tongiht. no sleep at all, lol. oh well.

Maegan

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 21:52:24 GMT

Lyrics of the day: visions of pills that put you in a loving trance. that makes it possible for all the white boys to dance ~ ben folds - zak and sara

I got ben folds c.d 'rockin the suburbs' its sooooooooo rockin. i love it. he's a piano genius. and his lyrics are funny. we were driving to the water park and i remeber how i forgot my wallet and was like 'nooooooooo, SHIT' cause i didnt have any money and i was getting the c.d. But sara's boyfriend bobbbi was so nice and said he would buy it for me. hes so nice. were watching children of the living dead tonight. me,sara,tima and i think bobbi's coming. it will be fun. i miss sara and bobbi's really cool.

the water park was tons of fun. like always. i love going to the water park. i went down this one slide, its like a toliet. you go down and you go into this 'bowl' and you swirl around and plop out, lol. it hurt my back so much. the entire time i went down it was scratching my back. lets just say i didnt go down that anymore, lol. me sara and tima went to play in the kiddie pool. lol and sara was like ' wow, i wonder how many kids have pee'd in here?' we just laughed and didnt get out, hahaha. went down a few slides and messed around in the pool. lol. me and tima were in the shallow end and i got on her back and she was crawling around. it was fun. it reminded us both of when brian and stewie from family guy are riding around together. i tried to let her on my back but it hurt my kness to much, lol. afterwards we went to.... boston pizza for food. bobbi was nice once again and bought me and tima pizza to share. it was a good time.

Maegan

Sat, 25 Jun 2005 21:51:29 GMT

Lyrics of the Day: i've got a question mark, you got a need to take some shot in the dark ~ elliott smith - question mark

I think XO is my favorite elliott smith album. just maybe.lol. its so hard to pick because hes so talented and each c.d just has so much passion. i love all of them so much. but iv found that i enjoy listen to XO all the time. my mom loves it to. she said when i move out i have to buy it for her, lol. ill gladly do, any think i can do to spread his amazingness.

Last night i thought was going to be boring because kaley was working and tima was baby sitting. so i made me'self a cup of tea and ate hobknobs while watching king of the hill, lol. but then my friend miranda called and said she was having alittle party and wanted me to come over. i didnt even think about it and went over when i was done my tea. but then i realized that i dont really talk to any of her friends because we have nothing in common. and sure enough it was pretty awkward. lol .everyone went out for a smoke and me and trevor and the only ones that dont smoke so we were sitting there like 'soooooooo....' lol. it was funny. and very awkward. but then bobbi came over. i thought it was bobbi.s because her boyfriend, i guess ex now, was there. but then it turned out to be bobbi that i like. so it got better when he arrived and me him and travis played darts. me and travis were horrible. i was sober and travis was drunk. and i was only slightly better then him,lol. and bobbi was kicking our asses. it was weird. travis kept looking at me and stuff all night. and i thought he was dating bobbi so i was like 'what the hell is going on' but then i heard they broke up. and i was like 'ohhh the rebound, great' lol. people are crazy.

blah i had better go eat and stuff before work. im almost done working there. im done on thursday. my last shift. awesomeness

Maegan

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 20:16:22 GMT

Qoute of the day: dont let high school get in the way of learning

That quote makes a lot of since.i really liked it when i read it. high school can be filled with so much drama and other shit that its like learning is secandary when really the whole reason you go there is to learn, its funny.

Im out of school.i have one more exam on the 27th. part B of english. then i am tottaly done and graduated. im glad to be getting it all over with. then i become a bum at my parents house until in in my late 30's, AWESOME.

Yesterday me kaly amber and faytima went to gateway for bowling. it was fun. and i was actually doing good! im usually not very good at bowling. not as bad as faytima, i swear she tries to get a gutter ball, lol. then we came back into town and went for a walk. tima went home she said she had to get up early. and today were going to kaleys house for a pool party, lol. she got a pool and its all set up so were going for the maiden voyage later today then having a bon fire. summer is awesome.

i hate living so far away from people it sucks. i want to start a band but i live all the way here and all the musicians i know like far away. My drum teacher was telling me about him and derrik ( bass teacher) trying to set up a little thing to get people who go to turner and guitar for lessons to make bands together. and he was saying i should try since i have no one to play with. and he was so nice because he was like ' and you dont have to be worried, your a really good drummer and you probably know more then alot of the other guys' lol. ill play infront of people i do get alittle nervous because im a loser. so that was nice that he said that. Whenever i do find people play with they usually crap out and stop playing. sara only came over a couple of times. faytima came over a few times but that quickly ended with doyle, lol. but oh well. and then theres david. hes such a good guitarist. he's been playing for 12 years i think he said. i played with hima couple of times it was cool. hes really nice he just worries me because he has a temper, but it seems only towards other guys, he seems soooo nice to girls. and iv played with my friend much once. that was cool i really like the stuff he was making on the guitar. i think im going to ask him to play with me again. he has pauls drums set at his house so he wont have to lug all his stuff over here. ah, well see whats going on eventually

maegan

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 17:18:01 GMT

Lyrics of the Day: all alone in my white boy pain,shake your booty while the band complains ~ Ben folds. so good.

Last night was fun. we went to punk rock bingo. Me and kaley went to whyte ave and walked around until Brianna and her friend... anne i think, called us then we went to filthy mcnasties for punk rock bingo, lol. I went to get a drink and got some bingo cards then sat down. and briana some how nocked over beer, lol, it got all over me and kaley and our bingo cards, it was funny though. then Levie, anne boyfriend was there, started dabbing my bingo sheets. needles to say the whole game went straight to hell. But me and brianna went to get another drink because she didnt want to be the only one drunk. and we got more bingo cards and started playing. it was so hard keeping up with the guy announcing all of the numbers! and i was sober in the beggining. when i was getting alittle drunk it got very difficult, lol. god. and renate showed up later on with kristy. and me and kaley honestly like... loath renate at the moment. i dont think a day goes by without me calling her a hoe-bag, lol. so when she showed up and and kaley were like 'great...' and she bought brianna a drink but brianna already had one so when renate left she gave it to me, lol. at first i was like ' no thats from the devil i dont want that' but then i gave in a drank it and just thought it was so funny. if only she knew she bought thei 'ignorant and selfish' girl a drink. muwhahahahaha. i wish kaley punched her in the face. i would have loved that, lol. but anyways. they played really good music, well it was punk rock bingo, lol. so they were only playing punk/metal type stuff. they played avenged sevenfold, a song of the sounding of the seventh trumpet c.d. and played some transplants and distillers and stuff. it was really cool. and right when we were leaving theres preppy girls went up to the d.j and aske dhim to play some dance music and was like ' nope, no dance music, only punk music tonight' and they didnt look very happy. i found it funny, there were sure in the wrong place at the wrong time. because im pretty sure they only play all punkish music on thursdays nights because its punk rock bingo and anyother night they play everything. but it was cool. i want to go again sometime with alot of people.

Maegan

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 22:06:05 GMT

little thingy of the day:

Ode to faux fashion:
"You're more punk, hardcore, mod, straightedge, emo, indie than me.
Your hair is cooler, your pants are tighter, you have more tattoos.
You have cooler pins on your messenger bag and your favorite band is more obscure than mine.
Your shoes are more vintage and so is your t-shirt.
You own more black clothes than me.
I don't even own a trucker cap OR a denim jacket.
Your glasses are thicker and blacker than mine, the plugs in your ears are bigger. You know more people in bands and your black jelly bracelets are the envy of scenesters everywhere.
Your photography is blacker and whiter, your Makeoutclub profile is wittier, and you have much better soul records.
Your tie is whiter, or redder, or blacker.
Your scene points are double, perhaps triple, mine.
Because as we all know, that's what really matters.
In a scene where the music has taken a backseat to the haircuts, you win and I lose.
And you know what? I'm okay with that."

http://www.punyhumans.com/ideas/multimedia/you _win.htm

i like that. lol and im pretty sure that site has a big thing on how luke skywalker was the first emo kid on it. i havnt looked at it in a while but when i saw that i thought it was pretty damn funny.

hahaha. so funny story. a couple of days after seans party me kaley and tima were talking and i said something about how when i said by to sean he gave me a hug ( like usual) then kissed me on my head and he was like 'uh, i kissed everyone on the head' and i shrugged it off because its nothing weird for sean. but when i said that both and tima and kaley kinda got shifty eyed and were like ' um, he didnt kiss us' i was like 'oh...' hahaha it was just a funny situation. and i dont know what to take from it because im sure sean kissed others and maybe just forgot or something, lol. i heard he had, oh exucuse me 'may' have had a crush on me a while ago. i dont know if that was actually true or if thats still the thing. who knows. its just this big enigma. lol.

My diplomas are coming up, great. im glad to get them over with but im worried about math. if i fail then i think im short ONE credit to graduate, lol. and that would be a real kick in the face if that happens. but im sure ill pass i have a better understand of the stuff then i did of last year and i passes last year, barely but i did. and english is no biggie. the teacher said she would be surprised if i got anything lower then an 80. i kinda agree with her. but sometimes i have trouble writing. and when i do a scrape off an 60 or 70. so ihope the stuff i have to write about is something i find easy to grasp an opinion about. and we have to either write a letter or a speach. i hope to god its a letter. im not that great at writing speeches. i got 14/15 on my practice diploma letter and 10 1/2 /15 on my speech. i love english. i dont even have to try and i get 80's. lol. but everything else with its blah. with out trying i have 60's in math, 70's in social , and 50's in biology. socials funny because i did none of my homework so my grade were really low but then on my diploma i got 76 or something and it brought me up to a 60. if i only did my homework and i would have had high 70s. but im a loser and dont do homework

Maegan

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 19:15:51 GMT

Lyrics of the day: as we kiss hard on the lips we swear this year will be better then the last

I wish i was a robot. lol. it would make everthing sooo much easier. i have a crush on a boy and its stupid. its always stupid. and i just met him. but i dunno theres something about him i just like soooo much. and then i just met this girl whos so cute and so nice and she has a crush on him to. and i dont want to start any lame stuff over a boy. and plus he lives pretty far away from me. i wish i didnt live in calmar, everyone i met and like live really far away. it sucks. and i dont plan on moving to edmonton till like...... december if even. i have no idea.i feel like a total mess right now. i have no idea what to do about anything.

I went to sean bedards party last night.it was alot of fun. i havnt hung out with sean or anyone else in such a long time. but sean has cats and im allergic. so i spent most of my night in the front or back yard just chilling out. i liked it. im not much of a party person unless i know most of the people well. which i kinda did there. it was about half and half. but i was tired and stuff. hahaha. and there was this little. and i mean LITTLE tent in seans back yard. like. its probably for toddlers to sleep in my then selves its so smalll. and we fit 9 people in there. lol. i was like 'hey lets see how many people we can fit in tent' so we all went running over there and hopped in.it was pretty funny. Then we went for a walk to the liqure store to buy nikki some alcohol. i didnt have my id so i couldnt but kaley had hers. man. it was fun. i really like nikki and shane. and i wish brianna was there but she wasnt. but probably for the best cause her and sean are kinda on teh outs :( . then me and tima went to matties house to sleep cause i cant stay at seans. and mattie wasnt there when we got there. well i think he was upstairs. and dillion was watching tv and was like 'i thought this party was invitation only?... no seriously ... whatcha guys doin here?' lol. cause mattie didnt tell him. so we told him and he was like ohhhhhhh. and we stayed uyp for a few more house watching teletoon and talking. dillion was talking up a storm. it was funny. i miss hanging out with all of them but kaley doesnt seem to want to go see them and she the only one that drives, lol. so we dont go anymore. but she does like the morinville kids so we are seeing them more then usual. its good! i miss everyone

Maegan

Mon, 30 May 2005 05:26:58 GMT

Lyrics of the Day: Would you take my hand? In the deepest endWould you stay and drown in me? ~ finger eleven - stay and drown

oh god. it was horrible. i haved read harry potter in such a long time, so i started reading order of hte phenox (sp) to get ready for the new one coming out. and i was browsing around and reading stuff. and it said something about how sirus died! i tottaly forgot about that. man. my heart was like ripped out. i know its lame to get that into a book. but i cried when he died. and i tottaly forgot and i got that feeling back when i read that. lol. im a nerd

I went to the water park on friday. fun fun fun. i havnt been there in so long. i want to go back really soon, lol. and it was funny. because me and tima were wearing bikinis. well i had a bikini top on and shorts. and she had on a bikini top on and a pair of underwear, lol. but we both have a little 'extra meat ' on our bones. and we were honestly the only ones with extra meat in a bathing suit showing out stomaches. its crazy. girls are crazy. the only other girls in bikinis were paris hilton disgusting thin girls. im comfortable with my body. im not fat. i look healthy. lol. skinny people gross me out. but it was alot of fun going on the slides and swimming around in the wave pool. i love pools. and we were hanging out with alot of people we never hang out with but like alot. so i liked it.

and tonight i went to the richardons c.d release show. it was cool. i saw sean bedard i havent seen him in soooo long. and the first band was really good. and the singer was hot. he had a beard, lol. i love beards. but we had to leave early because this girl kayla felt sick. i dont doubt that she felt sick. but i could tell she didnt want to be there, lol. not reall yher thing. which sucks because if she didnt come we could have stayed for the whole show. oh well. ill just wait a few more months until i am able to go to another one and see every one :) lol.

Maegan